Relationship Restoration: a derelict housing project

Updated: Sep 21, 2019

Relationship Restoration.


/ˌrestəˈrāSH(ə)n/ noun

1. the action of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition.

"The restoration of Andrew's sight" synonyms: repair, repairing, fixing, mending, refurbishment, reconditioning, rehabilitation, rebuilding, reconstruction, remodeling, redecoration, revamping, revamp, makeover, overhaul; redevelopment, renovation, modernization, updating, bringing up to date;

Upgrading, gentrification;


Informal facelift, refurb; informal rehab “The restoration of derelict housing."

The past, the present and the hopeful future. How did this happen!?!?!?! Sometimes relationships slowly fade, sometimes an emotional earthquake disrupts the once smooth, easy and frequent communication, love and support between two people. What ever happened, however it happened, one thing that I know is it hurts. It's frustrating, lonely, overwhelming, confusing and leaves a gaping hole in your heart, your life and how you view your own life.

So, you got over the initial earthquake and now you want to figure out why it happened and how to prevent any more conflict. First thing is to start with yourself. Be healed and be safe before starting re-construction. Faith is one of the most important life supports I have ever had to lean on. Scripture and prayer has always been my go to for comfort, advice and a good dose of some self-awareness to my own faults. Put on your hard hat and prepare yourself for the journey. Remember that you may be ready to heal before the other person can't even see a life after the disaster.

I'M TRYING!!!!!!! When we are rebuilding relationships we get so mad because we know what the puzzle picture should look like but we realize that the puzzle pieces themselves have changed shape. We get frustrated because we resist these changes that God is initiating in our life. The definition of Frustration is this: the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something. I have in my head exactly what my dream house would look like, right down to the smallest detail. My house now used to be really cute and comfortable but now I just can't stand looking at it. There is something wrong with my home now, what is wrong is how I am treating it and being patient in the pursuit of that dream home. Restlessness, this is one way of how brokenness starts. We get so focused on our own selfish needs that we neglect the realities that we live in. We can feel obstacles being built and we sense our communication is starting to fail. A fresh coat of paint could perk up the house a bit and I am sure some fluffy, surface only conversations will make us feel better. But what is most needed is a good dose of PERSPECTIVE that is what is needed when restoring a broken communication!! What does it look like from their side, your side, on the outside and most importantly how God looks at the situation.

What would your perfect, most solid, most fulfilling relationship look like? Imagine it like you would your dream house. Do you have it? It is spacious, open concept or cute little bungalow? It's interesting to think about how different all of our dream homes would look from each other. That thought could also be applied to how each of us picture our perfect relationships would look too.

What is stopping you from getting there? Your pride, their pride, pain, regret, sadness? Guess what, you'rew normal. No one wants to swallow that jagged pill or eat cold crow pie. But STOP THINKING THERE IS NO POINT in trying!! I'm sorry, there will be no unicorns waiting on you to take you over the rainbow bridge to the perfect world. It's not "IF" obstacles and trials are going to happen it is definitely "WHEN” they will happen. We have to understand we live in a broken and sinful world. My minster use to always say that SIN is just the acronym Selfish, Individual, Needs. Whether or not this was your sin or the other person's sin that caused the discord. God has given grace to you and the other person. Don't let that sin be the obstacle that separates you. Relationships are about giving love, support and growth. Obstacles aren't things to avoid, they are things that we go through and we will become all the stronger and closer for it.

Build up each other up and remember, your perfect dream house (relationship) and someone else's will be different, this does not mean you are both wrong.

Colossians 3:13-15
Get along with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity. Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking, because you were all called in one body to have peace. Always be thankful.

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